I suppose as of late the one question that's been weighing on my mind more than any other is why? Why do we do what we do? Why do we classify some things as acceptable and others an unacceptable? Why do we allow certain social constructs in while blocking others out?
It seems to me that pretty much all our "experts," our "leaders," our "learned" men are just that - men. They have no secrets. No greater knowledge than the common buffoon plucked from the street. All they have is the knowledge of the way their particular system works within the greater system and how to manipulate it. They make it up as they go. In this respect, why are men so afraid of failure? Aside from that fact that often, longer endeavors can prove to be rather time-wasteful, failure in itself is not bad. Granted I won't go as far as to argue that it is good either (a "good lessom" so some would argue). Rather, it just is. We try something. We succeed? Great. We fail? Well, so what. Even the time we spent isn't that much of a waste I would argue. We passed time and kept ourselves busy long enough to distract ourselves from the general existential burdens and breakdowns.
Second problem I keep going back to is my struggle with the divine. Not a god, or God, or any deity in particular. Not even whether or not such a thing exists or not, or whether it is benevolent or not. I've long since decided neither is truly important. What is important is the injustice perpetrated by those who bow to these beliefs and judge humanity according to these outside standards. Those who bow to these forces and humble themselves before them. Those who argue that all evil and injustice is a teaching tool. A testing tool against which humanity may sharpen itself. But I ask you: if a man murders a child, where is the justice for that child, in this life or the other. Even if he is put to death in the most brutal of manners in this life, where is the justice for that child? What good does his subsequent punishment by death do for that child? He is now dead forever, and forever stripped of his chance to be. And even if there is such a thing as an after life, with a place for the good and a place for the bad, what good is that for the child? What good is it for this man to go to hell to pay for killing a child? After all, once again, the child gets nothing from this. It is a system flawed from beginning. It's as if humanity is constantly playing catch up with justice. But no preemptive measure can be taken without taking away man's freedom, one might say. But why is 'freedom' worth this price? Why do we willingly give over a part of ourselves to attain something none of us truly ever exercise. After all, do we ever truly utilize this freedom for which we've paid such a high price? No, truly we don't. For as soon as we have a taste of freedom and are faced with its consequences, the words in small print we never bargained or bothered to check for, we gladly give it away to various social constructs for peace of mind and security, knowing full well the price we've paid for it. We give it to our presidents, our armies, our CEO's, our principals...in other words, our learned men who are no better than we are in any regard, yet whom we raised up to the status of gods on earth. And in the end what have we gained? We've traded away justice and security for merely a shadow of itself, the base and degenerate form we have created in our own hubris and image. But the saddest of all is the fact that there is no escape from this. Once you sign the social contract, you are bound to it for life. And you never have a choice on the contract. None of us were ever offered the choice to sign or not. Instead, we were led blind to where we signed, by men who knew not where they led or why they led.
So eat, drink, be merry. For tomorrow we die.
So why worry one's self with such useless musings and notions then? Why spend nights agonizing over questions whose answers are forever just out of reach. Just be. Fast cars, fast women and cheap drinks.
"So why would you care
To get out of this place
You and me and all our friends
Such a happy human race."
Smile. Life is still worthwhile.
